And from the ashes....

Well we got Bale's ashes today. When the phone had an "unknown" caller, i just knew, and made KC answer. He went to pick them up without question, which was good. He asked if I wanted to go with him, but if I can avoid going there ever again, it'll still be too soon. So Bale came home again. Wrapped up in a plastic bag, inside white tissue, inside a flowered container, inside gold tissue inside a white box inside a gift bag looking thing. It was strange. It was nice that they took so much care of him tho.

Admittedly, I clutched the little can and cried like a baby for a good 15 minutes.

Then we went to the store to find a proper container. Flowers for a boy cat just didn't seem right. So we found a really nice brown box with a striped lid, much more suitable. We also bought 2 small frames for some pictures of him I am getting made up. I am making a small photo album as well, with all my shots of him in it.

It's still a really lonely time in the house. I miss him like I have never missed anything before. I always think he's just going to pop around the corner. So surreal all this. It's like living in a cloudy, crappy nightmare. I barely have any concept of time or date, much less when to eat. I'm eating, don't get me wrong, but it's an autopilot thing. I know I have to, so I do.

I really hope to have something happier or more interesting to write about soon. I'm really not this morose, generally.